Week #13: Surrender and Start Again
Last week was an interesting week in my journey. I started a post; I was all excited because it was the first official week of Spring! The weather has been as perfect as only Nature can make it and I found myself flowing with new energy. What I didn’t find were words. Actually, I found plenty of words, but couldn’t seem to get the ideas to come together. So, by Friday I had not posted for Week 12 of My Self-Love Journey.
On top of that, each day that passed, Annie (my inner-roommate) was creating all kinds of turmoil in my mind. First, she complained about what people would think. “Ah-ha! Week 12 and Charlotte has already given up! That’s what people are going to be saying.” Then she kept pestering me, “Aren’t you going to write something this week? It’s already Tuesday.” By Thursday, she tried a different approach, “No one probably even noticed that you haven’t posted this week.”
I haven’t really explained Annie yet. I DISCOVERed Annie about six or seven years ago when I read a book titled The Untethered Soul (2007) by Michael A. Singer. In his book, he describes this voice that we have in our head. Singer calls this voice the “inner roommate.” He explains that we are the observer of the voice. Some of us apparently have a chattier voice than others. My voice (which I named Annie because my middle name is Ann) is incessant! She has something to say about nearly everything. Annie often makes self-Love more challenging than it really needs to be.
It just so happens that while Annie was conjuring up all kinds of fear, doubt and insecurity, I had begun another one of Singer’s books titled The Surrender Experiment (2015). In this book, Singer shares how as a young hippie in the 1970s, he came to recognize the voice in his head. He talks about how once he learned to let go of the fear coming from the voice and surrender to what life presented to him, incredible things unfolded in his life.
I’m only about halfway through the book, but I read enough to be inspired to do the same. To surrender all the thoughts and fears, let go of the voice in my head and wait for the words I need to complete my post for week #13, and begin again. I will not let a little writer’s block or my inner roommate stand in my way.
One of the most liberating things I have learned on my journey of self-DISCOVERy and self-Love is to recognize this voice in my head. Before I knew Annie, I didn’t know that all the mental chatter wasn’t really ME. I didn’t know that I could choose whether or not to listen to the noise or even to believe all that it was saying. Annie has been with me for a very long time, so remembering to recognize when she is running my show can sometimes be challenging. I also must remember that she is trying to protect me. For that I am grateful, and I love her.
If you’re working on your own self-Love journey and finding it challenging, try to notice if you have an inner roommate who is getting in the way. Do you have a voice that talks in your head and fills you with fear and self-doubt? If you do, just know that the voice is not YOU. Love the voice, express gratitude that the voice is only trying to protect you and know that you are safe. Getting to know this inner roommate will help you on your self-Love journey.
Today, I am especially grateful for Michael Singer and his books. I’m grateful for each of you who have taken time to read my posts. I’m grateful for Spring, and the opportunity to begin again, just like nature does every year. And I am grateful to be sharing my journey with you.
With Love and Gratitude,
Charlotte