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Thoughts from Vintage Yoga...

Week 24 My Self-Love Journey

This week I finally did it, I surrendered the fear that was keeping me from a task that we all must do. Yes, I’m talking about taxes. I know, it’s two months past the deadline. Just that word alone triggers all kinds of anxiety and resistance. DEADline? Why does it have the word “dead” in it?

I’ve been putting this off since I did the taxes last year! Crazy thing is, I procrastinated on it last year too! AND when I finally got it done, it was such a sense of relief and release. So why do I continue to put it off year after year? Fear. Fear that I’ll do something wrong and go to jail. Fear that somehow, I’ll end up owing a bunch of money. And now, fear because we are living in a foreign country. There’s so much uncertainty and unknown.

Since 1981, I’ve been doing this whole tax thing . You’d think I might have gotten over it by now. So why am I still afraid? Could it be that I’ve heard “all those stories” about people going to jail for tax evasion or tax fraud. It all sounds so scary!

Last week, my very patient tax lady, Krystal, contacted me to let me know they are about to do a system update and that it would be better if we could get everything done before that happens. I decided this was the Universe giving me a much-needed push to get it done. Either that or Krystal just came up with a clever way to motivate me!

Anyhow, last week I finally started gathering all the forms and reports that I needed to send. The funny thing is I found myself gaining a sense of peace over getting started. Monday I sent her most of the information she needed to complete the process. It was such a great relief to finally be getting it done.

Afterward, I contemplated the emotions I’d been struggling with over getting the taxes done. I thought about how the fear kept holding me back and decided to do exactly what I would say to my clients. When I work with clients, the first thing I do is have them identify what exactly they are afraid of. Then we look at the evidence to determine if the fear is valid. In the case of the taxes, I decided that I’m pretty sure that tax evasion and tax fraud are things you would do deliberately. I wouldn’t even know where to begin with that, and I will continue to stay in the dark on this topic! As for the fear of owing a lot of money, I decided you have to make a lot of money in order to owe a lot of money. So, I’m good there too.

The key to surrendering fear is identifying the truth about your fear. When you take the right steps, the truth will show you there is really no reason to be afraid (at least in most cases). Once I decided there was nothing to be afraid of, I understood that surrendering the fear was an act of self-Love. And when I tuned in to that feeling of love for myself, everything was different. There was no more fear, no more ruminating over the “what ifs.” In its place was a sense of calm and gratitude in knowing that everything is going to be just fine.

If you’re struggling with fear of any kind, I’d be happy to help you navigate those feelings to arrive at the truth.

With Love & Gratitude,


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