Loving yourself more can feel challenging. What has been your greatest challenge so far and how you have overcome that challenge?
My biggest challenge? Hands down, it’s confidence. This is an area where I’ve always struggled. I’ve struggled because I have always worried about what other people think.
One way I was able to overcome this fear of what other people think was to identify why I have this fear.
About two years ago, Juan and I read the book The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. One suggestion she made that really stuck was “morning pages.” Cameron suggests writing three pages in your journal every day. At first, I thought, “Three pages! How can I do that every day?” But I did.
At some point in my journaling, I decided to write memories from my childhood. I wanted to see how my memories shaped the person I have become. So, I went back to the earliest memories I could recall and worked my way through. I wrote the good stuff and the not so good stuff.
This exercise revealed to me an event that occurred when I was probably about six or seven. Recalling that event helped me realize the point in my life when I started to believe that what other people thought mattered. It also helped me understand that I no longer have to live with that part of “my story.” I mean, yes, if I were walking around being a total jerk to everyone I meet, then perhaps what others think would or should matter. But basically, I think I’m a pretty nice person.
This revelation, gained through writing, has given me permission to be myself. Since making this DISCOVERy, I have worked to learn what it means for me “to be myself.” I’ve decided that being myself means doing things I enjoy, even if it means I may look silly or I may do something wrong. It means putting myself “out there” even when it feels uncomfortable.
Confidence isn’t something you HAVE, it’s something you DO. You do “it” over and over until you break through the fear. This weekend, I made a big leap in the confidence department. I sang karaoke for only the second time in my life. The first time I did it was because I lost a bet. This time? I did it just because. Because we were there. Because everyone was having so much fun. And because I finally had the courage to just do it because I really wanted to do it.
I give credit for this success to the WORK I’ve been doing on Me. I love that I am beginning to love myself enough to be myself and to free myself.
Sometimes, this journey feels slow. But then sometimes you have a breakthrough and that gives you the motivation and courage to keep going.
This September I am planning to launch “The Beginner’s Guide to DISCOVER.” This is a six-week program I developed based on my own experience and lots of research. The program is designed to get you started on your own journey. You’ll get to know your “inner roommate” and we’ll begin to uncover some of the “BS” that has been driving your life. If you would like to join me on the journey, I’ll be hosting a live webinar to tell you more about “The Beginner’s Guide to DISCOVER” and answer any questions you may have. I’ll announce the dates soon, so be sure to look for that!
With Love and Gratitude,