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Thoughts from Vintage Yoga...

Week 32 My Self-Love Journey

In a previous article, I mentioned a behavior that I noticed about myself, that I didn’t like. The habit of criticizing myself out loud. Why, I wondered, do I do that?

The first time I noticed this habit of self-criticism was in a friend, not myself. We often cannot see our own annoying traits until we see it in someone else. I have a friend who is always criticizing herself. Early In our friendship, I would hear her say things like “I’m so fat!” She was a size four. Or she would say, “Look at this face! I’m so old!” At the time she was only 40. She would constantly complain about her life, her children, her husband and on and on.

The truth is she is a beautiful woman. Even today. I often found myself countering each of her criticisms; “You’re not fat, you look great!” “You look amazing!” and on and on.

Finally, one day it occurred to me that the reason she was doing this was because she had so little faith in herself that she needed others to tell her what she could not see in herself. I believe it’s what some may call “fishing for compliments.”

Imagine my surprise when suddenly one day I realized I was doing the exact same thing that I found so annoying in my friend! It just hit me! I don’t even remember the day or the event that showed me this behavior in myself, but there it was! To everyone who was ever a victim of my fishing expeditions, I apologize.

Once I saw this in myself, I realized that I too was simply trying to receive affirmation from others because I couldn't see myself as smart enough, or pretty enough or worthy enough. Breaking that habit has not been easy, especially as I am getting older. The good news is that my journey of self-Love has helped me see things differently. When I look in the mirror, I’m getting better at not focusing on the wrinkles, the sagging skin or the ‘extra’ around the middle. Instead, I’m learning to see with eyes of Love. Not every time, but more often each day.

One thing that I’ve found particularly helpful is something many self-help gurus promote. Positive affirmations. I’m not sure if that’s still “a thing” but I do it. Not every day, but especially when I’m feeling like I’m in a rut, I remember some of my favorite affirmations.

I love and accept myself exactly as I am. from Louise Hay

I am enough. from Marissa Peer

Do you have a favorite affirmation that helps lift you up when you’re feeling down? I’d love to hear about yours. Remember,


With Love and Gratitude,


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